Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fell Off the Wagon

Yesterday, in a moment of extreme sugar-love, I downed some Milk Duds, two at a time - about a half-dozen times. Boy, they were good.

Immediately, my heart started racing. It was crazy how fast my blood pressure skyrocketed. Lasted about ten minutes. Then I was fine, and I started fantasizing about how I could throw in the towel completely and have a bowl of ice cream, maybe two, and so on. But THEN I felt like total dog doo, and it lasted for several hours.

I'm just not going there. As much as I love sugar --- and believe me when I tell you I love it beyond poetry and craving and lust and obsession and desire and devotion and sheer joy --- I just can't do it. I said I'd try this for a whole year, and I'm over four months in, with LOTS of noticeable benefits. I can't imagine what my parameters will be after that year, but I'm not giving in.

But there you have it, I cheated. I've also taken sips of Kevin's Coke at least a few times over the past couple months. I need to avoid even those little harmless sips, because my mind is VERY agile when it comes to justifications and working around the boundaries. No big deal, at least I didn't spiral down into the Coldstone-and-Saxby's orgy that I envisioned. Yay for me! And back to life a little less sweet. Yet still better in many ways.


Laura said...

way to reel yourself back, your self-control is AMAZING to me! Once I mess up a bit I usually go crazy, eat everything I get my hands on, then sink into a depression. I've been trying the no sugar thing, I'm 2 weeks in, I feel good, but everyday is hard. Uhhhhhh! I lost all self-control when I was pregnant (hence the 50 lbs). I craved greasy, bad, sugary food. Ok I better stop typing, this more like a book than a comment. Love u Teri!

littlecbsmom said...

I am impressed...first to admit cheating..good job! Then to not give in! That is wonderful! You can do it and we want to hear more about the benefits!

Beth said...

Teri, you have been doing so well and I know you can continue to. I had a donut today and I have thoughts of going down to the kitchen to get another one right now. I shouldn't but I still might. I will feel awful later and regret it but it tastes so good... You are not the only one who falls off the wagon, you're in good company :)

heathorock said...

i wish i would live sugar-less too. hmmm. congratulations on 4 months. very impressive!