Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fell Off the Wagon

Yesterday, in a moment of extreme sugar-love, I downed some Milk Duds, two at a time - about a half-dozen times. Boy, they were good.

Immediately, my heart started racing. It was crazy how fast my blood pressure skyrocketed. Lasted about ten minutes. Then I was fine, and I started fantasizing about how I could throw in the towel completely and have a bowl of ice cream, maybe two, and so on. But THEN I felt like total dog doo, and it lasted for several hours.

I'm just not going there. As much as I love sugar --- and believe me when I tell you I love it beyond poetry and craving and lust and obsession and desire and devotion and sheer joy --- I just can't do it. I said I'd try this for a whole year, and I'm over four months in, with LOTS of noticeable benefits. I can't imagine what my parameters will be after that year, but I'm not giving in.

But there you have it, I cheated. I've also taken sips of Kevin's Coke at least a few times over the past couple months. I need to avoid even those little harmless sips, because my mind is VERY agile when it comes to justifications and working around the boundaries. No big deal, at least I didn't spiral down into the Coldstone-and-Saxby's orgy that I envisioned. Yay for me! And back to life a little less sweet. Yet still better in many ways.
Post a Comment