Thursday, October 28, 2010

Who Do You Love More?

"Who Do You Love More?" is a game that Cayna likes to play. It goes like this:

Cayna: Mom, who do you love more? Me? Or a toaster?
Me: You.
Cayna: Who do you love more? Me? Or your friends at Church?
Me: You.
Cayna: Who do you love more? Me? Or Daddy?

It can go on and on. And at bedtime she wants to play "I Love You More Than You Love Me." And I reply, "No you don't!" She can't win that one. She doesn't get it yet, but I'll explain it to her after she has a child - of course by then she'll have already have "gotten" it.

My prayer for Cayna is that in all her complicated thinking, she will know God's love, live it, and love others. The hint of insecurity that she has makes me nervous and confident at the same time. Nervous because I don't want her to go through life thinking she isn't loved. Confident because in her search, I know there is plenty of love to be found.

Meanwhile, this morning, she was mad at me at breakfast for not getting a bowl for her. The slightest things can set her off. She said, "I wish Daddy was here!" I answered, "I do too. I could use the help." So then she said, "I wish today was your Mom's Day Out!" I answered, "You're in luck. It's this Saturday. I can't wait."

She was appalled. "WHAT? You like to be away from your kids?"

I refrained from exclaiming "GOD YES!" and replied simply, "Yes."

"You have fun without us?"

"Cayna, don't you have fun when you're at your friends' houses and I'm not there?"

"Who do you love more? Us? Or being away from us?" (Never mind that "being away from us" is not a "who" it's a "what"...)

"Cayna, you are my family and I love you more than ANYTHING, especially toasters. But I do have fun when I do other things."

I have no idea how this realization rests in her brain - but it was good for her to hear.


Andrea said...

Its almost scary to see the thought processes as kids develop. I am noticing it in Ivy and it really just gives you a hint of the depths going on in their little heads.

heathorock said...

what i want to know is this: is this a recent picture of cayna?
i'm freezing up here and she's looking toasty in a tank top!!

littlecbsmom said...

That is great! Just on earth do you answer the "me or daddy" one??

I love what you said about her insecurity making you nervous and confident...very well said;)

Teri said...

Suzie - at this point in my kids' lives, we tell them we love them the same as we love each other. So far, no dissertations on "kinds of love" or unclear measurements. I remember asking my mom the exact question and she always said "It's a different kind of love" with now other detail or reassurance. I didn't like that OR understand what she meant. Someday they'll understand. Probably around the same time they get married and then even more when they have children. I think in Cayna's case she just needs to know we're crazy about her.