Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I'm trying to sound like that guy on "Princess Bride" saying 'Marriage' with his slurry accent as if I'm one of those folks who quotes from movies so well - I'm not, though. But I do think of that one line.

Tomorrow night I will go to bed early. Tonight I am up because I have to blog, eat a bowl of cereal, prune my bonsai tree, file my toenails, clean out under the t.v., write a letter to my aunt, evaluate the neighbors' pool chemicals, try to say the Pledge of Allegiance backwards and while doing some squats, research equine cataracts, sketch a tree the way they taught us in private school art class back in fourth grade, and then buckle down and write a talk on marriage for tomorrow evening's RCIA class.

(So... #1 - blog. Here I am, folks, procrastinator extraordinaire. So happy to be here with all of you fellow procrastinators and internet surfers who are skimming over strangers' blogs rather than tackling your relationship issues; writing that financial report for the board meeting tomorrow, or whatever.)

What to blog about? What to say... ah! It is absolutely imperative that I tell you that the search is over!!! After, like, six months or so of browsing the world for the perfect cafe curtains for my kitchen, I came across the ideal fabric and pattern. At IKEA, of all places! Fresh! Cheap! And then I saw "NOT AVAILABLE ONLINE" and I think I muttered something about rat bastards under my breath. I know, I know, Jesus still loves me, though... So, seriously, I have the best friends in the world. Layla Hanash volunteered to pop in at the Portland store on her way back to Vegas, and my friend's dear mother is checking in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada before her return here in two weeks. SO TAKE THAT, IKEA! YOU CAN'T KEEP THOSE CURTAINS FROM ME, NO SIR!!! I have my peeps all across the North American continent working to reel me in a set. And if Portland and Edmonton fall through, my trusty old new friend Janelle said she'd bring some back for me from Costa Mesa at the end of February. Maybe I oughtta postpone working on my talk until I can get you loyal readers a photo of those curtains hung neatly in my sweet little window.

In other news, Mike Nalley doesn't want to get out of his cozy warm bed for a run with me and Rob and Bob so it has become apparent that he is PRAYING AGAINST MY PHYSICAL HEALTH!!! How could you do this, Mike? My cough is lingering and I sound like a raspy frog version of Janis Joplin. I can't go running if I have a nasty bronchial issue! Quit the voodoo and just get out and give your own lungs a butt kicking! See you Thursday, if I'm not on a ventilator.

Finally the crankly old dead haunted-house tree in our front yard is going to be cut down and the stump ground out. Join me in wishing it good riddance. Moving us ONE TINY STEP closer to NOT being the ugliest house on the block.

You really oughtta be Catholic. Holy water is cool. Had fun blessing the kids in their sleep tonight and in general praying over our little casa. Took a good ten minutes. That was ten more minutes NOT working on my talk! I could go professional, I tell you.

Do you know me very well at all? Can you detect the edge of "manic" in my tone? I think it's there right along with the crazy energy from the Honey Nut cereal that will propel me forward in my talk-writing and bless the socks off these folks coming to hear what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage. Heck, a topic like this, all I gotta do is toss out a few truths and let the Q & A session soak up all my time. I'm getting pathetic! Off I go! Thank you for hanging out with me these crazy minutes!
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