Friday, April 2, 2010

39 Going On 20

Good news from the gynecologist's office! I have the fertility of a 19 year-old!

Man oh man, when I had her run the extra blood tests, what I was really looking for was some further justification for my grouchiness. "You're pre-menopausal," I wanted her to state. Or, "Boy howdy your thyroid is out of whack!"

Nope. My lab sheets might as well have had smiley faces next to all the test scores. I'm a shiny, healthy, nearly 40 year-old with the hormone levels of a teenager!

Those were her words, BTW, not mine. She said, and I quote, "We see numbers like these on 19 year-olds."

Well, there you have it. My eyes are crinkly, my neck is starting to sag. But my follicle-stimulating hormone is a freakin' spring chicken!

Well, either that or OB/Gyns these days are prompted to give such speeches to their mid-life patients in order to sell more fertility-ending procedures and drugs.

I'm a Catholic, folks. So what this all means for me is four or five more kids before I break a hip. Stay tuned...
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