Monday, April 19, 2010

Alone in a car with a 5-pound bag of candy

Saturday was my MDO (Mom's Day Off). It started in a most wonderful, rare way. I sat at Panera Bread with two friends (and one 3 month-old) and didn't move my butt out of the booth for FOUR hours! That kinda thing rarely happens once the college years have passed and children are born. We're not sure how it happened this time. All the circumstances were just right.

After Panera, though, the day went quickly downhill. In the next couple hours, I developed sky-high anxiety over new-house possibilities. Despite library time where I tried to prep a talk on Mary (which is also scaring my pants off) and my traditional MDO meal at Chipotle (sitting on the patio in the Spring weather and watching the cars go by...) - I still got sick to my stomach from annoying worry. Hopped back in Kevin's car to decide where to go next - and for the first time spotted the HUGE bag of Jolly Ranchers in the back seat. I picked it up and checked - it was a FIVE POUND BAG!!! Looking for a tissue in the console, I came across a small bag of Bit o' Honeys. For the record, I resisted the urge for sugar (especially intense due to my increased stress level) but compounded my anxiety with thoughts of Kevin's impending diabetes and total tooth decay. And, truth be told, it is easier (MUCH easier) to resist Jolly Ranchers and Bit o' Honeys than the frozen yogurt joint next to Chipotle.

Anyway... I ended my day off in bed. For a couple hours. Head pounding and stomach churning.

I'd still do it all over again to get that extended Panera session, though.


Vicki R. said...

Just catching up on your recent posts - lots of changes (maybe)! I would be hating that limbo-land feeling too. But it always helps me to remember that nothing - except the love of Christ - is permanent. Nothing. I've been learning this past year to let go of a LOT of my ideals (a forever home, more children, less children - j/K! - children who sleep, etc.) - and I'm surprised how much less I think about it.

I'm not in your shoes & don't know all the details - but that's my 2 cents if you're entering limbo-land. You're just on the next adventure as a family (maybe)!

Laura said...

Your self-control is amazing and really inspires me. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have said no to the candy, even if it wasn't my favorite. Good for you!

littlecbsmom said...

I LOVE Jolly Ranchers..if there was an apple in the bag, I'm not sure I would of been able to hold out!

I am so proud of you for keeping up with it especially under those circumstances! Way to go!