Damn Duck Pancakes

I have another secret blog. It's written by a woman I'll call "Elle" and she and I have enough in common you might wonder how she sends me into fits of despair every time I read her posts. It's the things we DON'T have in common that plague me! I only visit her blog when my curiosity gets the best of me --- when I think I've had a particularly sophisticated week and am reasonably sure I could comment on one of her adventures without sounding like we live in different worlds. But we do! Despite the fact that we are both 38 year-old women, both stay-at-home moms, both women of faith - despite all that - I am still the woman who goes out for burgers and she is trying new restaurants that serve DUCK PANCAKES... DUCK FREAKIN' PANCAKES, I tell you!!! --- and she's ENJOYING them!!!

I know this is not my pretty side. No. This is the same side of me that even after ER starting scaring the crap out of me once I had kids, I'd still sneak back occasionally for a glimpse of that irresistible action. Even when my favorite show "Friends" was proven to give me body image insecurities, I couldn't resist because it was just so hilarious! And now, when I falter from time to time about whether my life is really the way I want it, I am guaranteed to come crashing down if I take a look at what Duck Pancake lady is up to.

You should see her! She cooks, she cleans, she takes great photos with her camera! She vacations. Her parents are still married. She decorates. She takes enriching courses to continue her education. And, sadly, because a blog does not reveal the entirety of a life, my imagination fills in the rest: I am CONVINCED that she volunteers evenings with a search and rescue team to save hikers from peril at State Parks; she ran a marathon in under four hours; her husband doesn't pass gas; her children have modeling contracts with Baby Gap and get all their clothes free; she has memorized two of the four gospels and most of the Psalms; her Christmas tree is taller; her accent walls are richer; her sheets have a higher thread count than mine.

And there I have it - a tizzy of inadequacy. But the more I analyze this, the more I realize - I don't have to see her as an enemy in my battle to like myself. She can be a "Positive Role Model" instead of an "Unhealthy High Standard" if I am feeling good about who I am. So I sigh. Spend a minute with Jesus. Make a good choice about dinner. Remind myself that she's human, too - and I don't want a world without the duck pancake people, not really.